Friday, March 2, 2012

Free to Want; Free to Not-Want

To want or not to want.............?

A lot of unpleasant feelings can arise from wanting or not-wanting something that we think we're not "supposed to" want, or are "supposed to" want:

...sadness, helplessness, frustration, depression, irritation, anger, confusion, numbness, anxiety, guilt, shame, etc......

Next time you find your desires thwarted, or if you find someone else wanting to give you something you don't want, realize that you are free to stop for a moment to observe what is happening.

Are you reacting?  Do you find yourself with uncomfortable, unpleasant feelings?  Take a moment to remember that you are free to feel whatever you are feeling and to think whatever you are thinking.  You could examine what it is you want or don't want, and think the following thoughts:

     I am free.
     I am free to think what I'm thinking.
     I am free to feel what I'm feeling.

     I am free.

     I want ________________.
     I am free to want __________________.

     I do not want ________________.
     I am free to not-want ___________________.

     Yes, I am free!

     Breathing, allowing, releasing, 
     No compulsion, no forcing,
     I am free.

When I think in this way, I am giving myself permission to utilize my free will, to feel and think the way I am feeling and thinking.  It takes the pressure off to be different from how I am right now.

Then, paradoxically, it so often happens that, after realizing that I am truly free to experience my freedom to think and feel as I do, I become willing to explore whether I might actually want or not-want something else, and sometimes I am surprised to discover that I might really be open to wanting the opposite.


  1. Jennifer, you are keen to keeping me thinking of freedom. What then, freedom? Choice, moment by moment? When I stop and decide, moment by moment. Does it benefit me to go about doing things according to habit? Doing things that 'feel' natural?

    Rather, am I better served to STOP my habitual way of reacting to stimuli? Instead exercise my free will to choose how I move forward, moment by moment? What behavior is in my best interest?

    Life is paradox.

    This then is freedom. How we act in the face of circumstance. We are at root human and fallible. We are free to choose.

    Thank you for keeping me tuned in to nature, what comes natural. We need to consciously and continually decide if what we feel is natural is, in fact, Natural.

  2. What good questions, Jerry. I'm really glad that my explorations help keep you in tune with Nature! I am finding more and more that I am unsure of the answers to my questions, and this can be very disconcerting; but then I remember, "I am free to have questions and want answers; I am free to not have answers; I am free to feel disconcerted." And then, I find myself breathing and a smile comes back to my face. So, whatever freedom is or is not, and whatever natural activity is or is not, thinking "I am free" seems to give me something I think I want, and it makes me feel better.


Your comments are welcomed with an open mind and heart.