Is the goal so important that I am willing to give up my well-being during the process of reaching it?
Is the goal really that important?
Is achieving a goal in the future really more important than who I am in the present?
Do I ultimately have any control over the future?
My student has a specific goal.
But, there are so many other goals attached to that goal, including issues of self-worth and happiness, that the goal has taken on larger-than-life proportions.
Fear of the worst has set in, and she realizes that she is stuck.
Speculation about the future has partially paralyzed her, so that it seems at times that she is not moving towards her goal, and that she is also not taking care of her well-being as well as she could.
She is usually not living in the present, she is not trusting the flow of present moments which become a process as they are experienced one after another, and she is experiencing pain which she can hardly endure.
If she continues in this direction, it is highly unlikely that she will achieve her goal, and her well-being will continue to suffer.
Is there a way to achieve our goal AND take care of our well-being in the process?
Is there a way to see ourselves as more important than the goal, and yet continue to aim towards the goal, and possibly achieve it?
I believe there is.
1. I think the first step is to make THAT the primary goal, while believing that it is possible. In other words: to consider our (well-)Being as more important than what we might achieve (the secondary goal), while aiming towards the goal and trusting that it is possible to achieve it with our wholeness/integrity intact.
2. The second step is to get out of the way, which means we need to see which thoughts are paralyzing us, and to stop thinking them.
3. The third step is to think the thoughts that will help carry us in the new direction. These positive thoughts include thoughts of trust, and allowing the process to flow, and letting ourselves be carried towards our goal, while continuing on with the first two steps.