The Process

What is my intention?  What is my goal?  What is my desired outcome?
Is the goal so important that I am willing to give up my well-being during the process of reaching it?
Is the goal really that important?
Is achieving a goal in the future really more important than who I am in the present?
Do I ultimately have any control over the future?

My student has a specific goal.
But, there are so many other goals attached to that goal, including issues of self-worth and happiness, that the goal has taken on larger-than-life proportions.
Fear of the worst has set in, and she realizes that she is stuck.
Speculation about the future has partially paralyzed her, so that it seems at times that she is not moving towards her goal, and that she is also not taking care of her well-being as well as she could.
She is usually not living in the present, she is not trusting the flow of present moments which become a process as they are experienced one after another, and she is experiencing pain which she can hardly endure.
If she continues in this direction, it is highly unlikely that she will achieve her goal, and her well-being will continue to suffer.

Is there a way to achieve our goal AND take care of our well-being in the process?
Is there a way to see ourselves as more important than the goal, and yet continue to aim towards the goal, and possibly achieve it?

I believe there is.

How?

1. I think the first step is to make THAT the primary goal, while believing that it is possible.  In other words:  to consider our (well-)Being as more important than what we might achieve (the secondary goal), while aiming towards the goal and trusting that it is possible to achieve it with our wholeness/integrity intact.

2. The second step is to get out of the way, which means we need to see which thoughts are paralyzing us, and to stop thinking them.

3. The third step is to think the thoughts that will help carry us in the new direction.  These positive thoughts include thoughts of trust, and allowing the process to flow, and letting ourselves be carried towards our goal, while continuing on with the first two steps.

"The belief in a thing makes it happen." - Frank Lloyd Wright

What are your goals??

What do you believe??

The "I Wonder" Game

Purpose: to question without requiring an answer. to awaken curiosity. to open the mind to new possibilities. to see things in a new light. to become more childlike and creative. etc.

How to play: begin sentences with the words, "I wonder"... and do not rush to find an answer to your musings.  Wait and allow.  Watch and wonder.

Rules: I wonder if there are any...

How to win: you win by playing. you win by enjoying the game.

How to lose: you lose if you try to get it right or control the outcome and forget to wonder about that.


I wonder if I'm forgetting anything...hmmmmmm...............................
Ok! I wonder if anyone will join me in this game...  
I wonder what will happen next!

On Love and Depression

We are beings made of Love.  Love is not other than Life, because nothing can exist in isolation; there is always a constant exchange of energy which sustains and enhances all living things, a connection which unites everything that seems to be separate.

I believe that depression occurs when that exchange of energy...that constant movement of Life-Love...is out of balance.

Pain and suffering are experienced when we are blind to this constant exchange, which happens all the time, effortlessly and automatically.

When we are blind to the fact that we are constantly receiving nourishment, support, and life-enhancing energy--Love--from without, we feel disconnected from the world and other people, and we begin to collapse into depression because we become ignorant of the exquisite beauty that surrounds us, and we forget that all is One, and we are part of It.

When we are blind to the fact that we are necessarily intertwined and constantly giving ourselves to the world, which is constantly receiving us (whether the world is aware of this or not), we feel worthless and disconnected, and we collapse into depression for the same reasons.

It is said that 'to give is more blessed than to receive'...perhaps because giving is usually perceived as something more active than receiving...but to receive is also an active opening and letting go...and perhaps equally blessed.  (Besides, are the two things really different??)

So there are two potential keys to rising up out of depression:  to give, and to receive.

What do we need to give?  What do we need to receive?

Our awareness of the ever-present Life-Love, within and without.

How do we do this?


We don't need to 'do' anything, because this Life-Love already is within us, and all around us, flowing and being Itself all the time.  We just need to stop blocking It and intend to be conscious of It, leaving ourselves alone, and letting Love Live...and letting Life Love.

If we stop for a moment to notice, we can choose to be open to receive the Life-Love that is constantly glowing and moving all around us, and we can allow It to enter us (one of the easiest ways is through the breath).

We can also choose to express/give the Life-Love that we are made of.  This giving happens by itself when we stop blocking it, because this Life-Love is what we are, and it is in the nature of the Good to shine and communicate Itself, through us and through everything that exists in this world.

Accepting Support

Support is everywhere: within and without.
It comes towards us through everything,
Always reaching for us, waiting for us to become aware of it.
If we stop disconnecting ourselves from it, and stop ignoring it or denying our need for it,
Our hearts and minds and bodies can finally open to humbly receive it.

We are connected to everything, as if by invisible strings, or golden threads.
If we trust these nourishing and sustaining lifelines of support,
And stop trying to support ourselves without this ever-present help from beyond ourselves,
We can let go and fall, to be caught up by this gentle embrace
Which wants to help us be ourselves.

By risking losing what we think is our balance,
By trusting that which is only known by intuition and deeply-buried experience,
We let it coax us back into our rightful shape.
In this way, we right ourselves,
And with bliss, we merge with and meet the space to which we rightfully belong.

Preparation and Anxiety

I have an AT presentation this afternoon, with less than 45 minutes to prepare for it.  I have had many days, even weeks, to prepare, yet have chosen not to.  Today, this thought brings up little twinges of anxiety, as if I were receiving micro-injections of adrenaline into my middle.

Stopping.
Noticing.

I feel it in my abdomen...
chest...
arms...
neck...

I am choosing not to react to these feelings, and to the thoughts that come up which are triggering the feelings.

Interesting.
Makes me curious...

Allowing myself to smile.
Allowing lengthening, widening, expanding.

Noticing muscular contractions which express a direction/energy that wants me to close up and shut down, freeze, fight, or flee...

Not reacting.
Not judging.

Not preparing.

Allowing life to flow as it will.

How could I possibly prepare to teach the Alexander Technique in any way other than by practicing it??

The Alexander Technique has been called 'a skill for life'.
How can you prepare for life if you're already alive?  No need.

No need to prepare.
And...this is the best way to prepare.

Just stopping.
Just noticing.
Just allowing.

Everything is flowing exactly as it needs to, and I am not interfering.
I'm enjoying the ride...

Suffering II

the suffering,
when allowed to move,
colors the mind,
body,
soul...

...and it flows into life...

and the pain spreads
in waves
through contortions, twists and turns...

once the fear is accepted
and the scaffolding removed,
the soul is finally freed
to move
and be moved...

while the inner witness, the impersonal self, oversees the happening...
with care and steady calm, it guides the soul's inner suffering,
reminding it to allow all feelings
and let them flow as they must.

until the soul wakes up
suddenly
and realizes

that perhaps the suffering does not belong to it alone.

perhaps this suffering is just something that comes,
impersonally,
larger than the very small story of one small being,
something that cannot be owned, trapped, or specifically named.

perhaps this suffering really belongs to another--
and another, and another...

in time, without hurry, the soul realizes
that this is truly the universal suffering of humanity itself,
which belongs to no one at all,
for this is the suffering that exists only because it must...

...and is only released once clearly seen in all its grandeur...

and with this realization, the breath comes
and the suffering is given space to live
and to move onwards
and outwards
through the body, mind, and soul.

this is how
the pain leads us home

when we choose to stop
allow
and follow.

Suffering I

Today, the father of one of my closest friends is dying, and she has gone to be with him.  This has made me think of death and suffering.  When we have compassion, we feel the suffering of others.  To have compassion is human; to suffer is also human.  Yet, one of our strongest habits is to avoid feeling our suffering out of fear.

Here are some helpful thoughts to tell ourselves during times of suffering:

Don't worry, me, I am here with you, within you--I am you, not separate from you.
I understand everything that you are going through, everything that you think, everything that you do.

Yes, you have suffered enough. But you will suffer more, despite that, because this is your lot.  Because you are human and you are surrounded by an imperfect world and imperfect human beings, just like you.

But you can suffer less than you do.  You can stay strong and centered and detached.  You can listen to others and have compassion.  You can feel their sorrow and sadness, and your own painful feelings.

But let those feelings live in you and MOVE!  

Don't hold onto them.  Don't try to get rid of them. Don't tighten in response.  Don't run away from them.  Don't deny them.  Don't minimize them.  Don't exaggerate them.  Don't ignore them. Don't fight them.

Above all, don't fear them!!!!!

Do not fear those feelings, my dear self.  Those feelings are a gateway to your True Self, just as pleasant ones are, as well.  Do not fear your feelings, for they are all a necessary part of who you are.  Pay attention to them, and let them be what they are.

Allow all feelings.
Allow them to move through you.
Feel them deeply, and let them  move you.
Feel the sadness, the sorrow, the compassion, the depth of humanity, the suffering.
Just make sure that you let it all move!

BREATHE with the feelings, and let them move you.

Movement is LIFE.

Breath is LIFE.

This is the way to open yourself and know yourself, so do not be afraid.

You fear yourself--which is necessary at first--but then come closer.
Do not let the fear stop you from coming closer and closer to who you really are, beyond those feelings.

Overcome your fear!!!
Open yourself to this fear, to all feelings, and risk knowing and loving yourself fully, just as you are.

Breathe.
I am here.
I am here for you, with open arms.
Here to embrace you and keep you safe.
Open your arms to yourself, and open your heart.

Surrender to the fear and open yourself up anyway, despite the fear, despite the pain.
Find me in your breath, as you let the feelings move inside.
I am here, I am here, I am here.

I am you.

Look no further than inside your own being.
I am your very own Self.
So open up to me and breathe and move, and LIVE.

Dare to be your WHOLE, TRUE SELF.

The only way to real happiness is to accept and move through whatever comes...