Letting Others Live Their Lives

As an Alexander teacher--and maybe just because of who I am--I tend to see things that are going on in other people that they may be unaware of.  Sometimes, they are beautiful, positive things, and I rejoice to see them and share in that beauty with them.  At other times, I see some of the ways people are hurting themselves, creating their own pain and inner strife.  Sometimes, I see a person going in what looks like a healthy, loving direction; at other times, I see walls going up which create more hardening and separation.

I'm guessing that you can see those things happening in people, too.  The question is, how do we react when we see those things?  Do we react in a way that causes us to put up our own defensive walls of separation, or do we aggressively try to convince or change or correct the way others are behaving, risking triggering more reactions, likely to lead to more suffering all around?  Or, do we first respond in a way that softens us into openly accepting what is, making room for everything?  Clearly, we have a choice.

Only if we can first allow ourselves to release into fully accepting the whole of the other person--including even what seems wrong or hurtful--can we do anything really, truly loving for the other person.  Any action taken to help another needs to come from a place of love, and that love must first include unconditional, complete, total acceptance of the other person's free will to be who they are right now, and to go in the direction they are choosing.  Only if we allow them that freedom will they be able to trust us enough to then let us gently guide them into a better, healthier, more loving direction.