Preparing for My Concert Tomorrow, with Alexander Technique

I have a concert tomorrow.

Habitual reactions to this idea have been surfacing over the last week, and more strongly today.
I mentioned this to a friend this morning, who, after encouraging me, promptly asked me, "Well, what is it that you really want from this performance?"

That question stopped me in my tracks (deep and perilous ruts of habitual thinking, actually).

What an excellent question!  What is it that I actually want?

It's funny how our own deeply-ingrained habits of a lifetime can hide our own truth from us so well!

I know very well what I want in life, but my habitual ego-reactions relating to my performance were causing me to lose sight of the fact that what I want in life is to be sought and found in every single moment - in fact, ONLY in the Present Moment, the NOW - and that includes whatever activity I am engaged in, including my performance tomorrow!

In my life, I want:
Peace
Joy
Love
Goodness
Wonderment
Mystery
Beauty
Inspiration

So, of course this is also what I want during my performance!

We performers know all about practicing and preparation.  If the above are my goals for my performance, as a subset of life, so to speak, then the best way to practice and prepare for my performance is to live these things NOW.

And when I stop to find the Now, I find that there is nothing else other than those things I listed.  In paying attention, I find everything is Here.  I have it All.

Smiling, I am conquering fear, because fear is an illusion - it ceases to exist when I slip into the infinitude of the Now.

This is inhibition.
This is direction.

The Presence of the Now is primarily in control, not my ego.
How absolutely wonderful.

I look forward to the Now of tomorrow, during my performance.  I wonder......!

My Experience Dealing with a Deficient Memory

Alexander Technique is about being exposed to a stimulus, 

becoming aware of our reaction or non-reaction, 

stopping whatever we are doing which is unnecessary and unhelpful, 

and directing ourselves into the next moment with conscious choice.

These days, I am noticing a familiar pattern in myself, and I'm going to write about ways I deal with it.  The topic is my memory - or lack thereof!

I don't have a "terrible" memory; I also don't have a "great" memory.  Of course, I have a memory - there is a lot I remember!  I always did well in school, remembering what was necessary for the tests; and I was able to remember long pieces of music without any problem.  My IQ is not low. But there is so much that I don't remember, too, and I constantly find myself in situations where I am expected to remember things but cannot.  This is a recurrent stimulus to me, which I must inhibit my reaction to, and direct myself well in response.

Here are a couple of examples of stimuli which have tempted me to react recently:

- I am an accomplished violinist, and I will be performing a violin/harpsichord recital in two weeks.  When I was asked a few days ago what is on the program, I could not recall more than two of the pieces on the spot.  Slowly, over the next few minutes, I remembered what I'd been practicing every day for some time, but it took much much longer than normal.  In fact, "normal" would be to be able to rattle off immediately all the details about the program.  Not remembering the pieces I will be performing is definitely not "normal"!

- A colleague recently shared all sorts of interesting information with me, a slew of facts on topics that I am actually interested in, and which I enjoyed hearing about immensely, but I knew that I would not be able to retain most (or any?) of what was said. If I had been tested on the material ten minutes later, I would surely have failed the test.  My goal while listening to people has often become simply to remember ONE fact from the conversation, and even that one often slips away.

How do I react to the idea that there may be something "wrong" with my brain?  
I smile to myself.  Truly.  Because I know it's not true.
Then, I inhibit the thoughts that tempt me to think things such as:

5 Minutes to Conscious Control of Your Thinking, with Alexander Technique

Does it sometimes seem like your thinking goes around and around in circles and gets in the way of everything, keeping you from getting anything done? 



It’s really helpful in life to be able to think about WHAT you WANT to think about, WHEN you want to think about it. That can be very challenging sometimes, especially when you're feeling overwhelmed by many different things and are under stress.  So it's important to realize that this is a skill which requires PRACTICE! 

What if for 5 minutes every day, you actually CHOOSE what you’re going to think about? 




Here's one way to practice:

• Set aside just 5 minutes, and make this "conscious-choice-in-thinking" time, or whatever you want to call it! Set a timer. This is a practice session. Very important:  DO NOT let yourself go longer than five minutes. When the five minutes are over, you can then CHOOSE AGAIN to do 5 more minutes, or to stop and go do something else, or to think about something else for another 5 minutes.  Or, you might choose a different length of time for your next session. 
• Lie down on your back on the floor with your knees bent up to the ceiling, feet on the floor, head on a book or two (see link for more information on Constructive Rest Position, or Semi-Supine). 

• Then, take a moment to inhibit and think your Alexander Technique directions, if you know how to do this (if not, just rest without doing anything for a few moments; or, consider finding an Alexander Teacher to show you how to practice constructive rest - you will NOT regret this, as an expert's help with this is wonderfully insightful!).  
• Now, CHOOSE what you want to think about as your activity for the next five minutes while you're lying down.  Are you going to think about work? food? relationships? travel? depressing thoughts? positive thoughts?  Anything is fair game for the next five minutes, but choose just ONE topic. 

You are training your brain to be selective in its thinking, to concentrate, to focus, to be under your conscious control...and that’s something we all need in life.  This is a SKILL that you absolutely must have to be successful at anything. You have to be able to focus your mind to get what you want! And you will never even know what you really want if you don’t have the skill of focusing your mind! 

A hidden bonus to this exercise is to gain the skill of STOPPING yourself from thinking about a certain topic.  This skill is at least as important as being able to stick to one topic.  You must be able to choose to stop thinking when it's time to move onto something else.  That's why setting the timer for 5 minutes and training yourself to stop is an integral part of this exercise!

Make a commitment to doing this every day for just 5 minutes. Try it every day for a week, or longer, and see what happens.  It really will work, if you make the commitment and PRACTICE. Even if you can’t do it for more than 30 seconds at first, PRACTICE this every day and it WILL get easier over time. 


*spiraling Image courtesy of Rawich / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
* semi-supine photo courtesy of Imogen Ragone, http://www.imogenragone.net/stress-reliever-the-alexander-technique-practice-of-lying-down/

Positive Resistance to Stress, with Alexander Technique

I have been experiencing a great deal of stress lately, due to certain circumstances in my life, and that leads to a sense of internal pressure to deal with all of it somehow.  I find it interesting to take a moment and observe this phenomenon in myself and how it plays out.

The Old Habitual Way: 

stressful situations lead to:

• sense of pressure from outside, "a burden/weight on my shoulders", etc.
• habitual reactions made up of a combination of fight/flight/freeze responses in mind and body
• which leads to heightened anxiety and other unpleasant feelings and emotions,such as annoyance, irritation, anger, frustration, sadness, sense of hopelessness/helplessness, etc.
• negative thinking
• strong desire to do something to get rid of these unpleasant feelings
• addictive behavior often follows, such as sugar-consumption to make myself feel better in the short term but makes me feel worse soon after
• more unpleasant feelings: back pain, brain fog, repetitive thinking, etc...
• vicious, destructive cycle

The New, Conscious Way: 

When I remember to STOP for a moment, so that I can think and apply my AT skills, I am more empowered to change how I react to stressful situations, which I often cannot change directly (for instance, sometimes the stressful situation has to do with another person's actions, or even the weather), and I have a chance to break the cycle and transform it into something positive.

stressful situations lead to:

• some, but less, of the old reactivity (or if I'm really mindful, I can skip this unpleasant part altogether!)
• recognizing that outside pressures come with an inward direction (it feels like things are pushing in towards me, trying to compress me and make me shrink)
• instead of fighting that inward force, I can notice and allow it, accept and go along with it
• this brings me inward to my heart - the seat of ego, as well as the seat of Consciousness; I realize that I can choose Consciousness, and be grateful that I have been brought back to my heart, getting in touch with my true Self again
• once I'm centered again, I see that I have a choice:  I can continue focusing on this inward direction, and/or I can re-balance myself by remembering that the inward can also shine outward
• choosing to shine out from my center, I can aim my whole self into expansion, aiming up-down, left-right, forward-back, etc. - but without losing awareness of my heart-center; ideally, I will continue to remember that inwardness and outwardness are equally necessary, and I will allow for both directions to support me as I continue on into my daily activity
• this gives me a great deal of confidence as I face outward pressures with a positive resistance
• aiming in-out brings me back to the awareness of my inner strength and helps me apply it constructively in relation to the challenges that await my response on the outside

This works SO well; I wish I could remember it every time I'm faced with stress in my life!

p.s. It can be hard to know how to aim yourself (body and mind) in space; this is what an Alexander Technique teacher is trained to help you  do.  Taking some lessons to learn these great skills is REALLY worth it!

Good Use of the Word "Throughout", with Alexander Technique

I love words.
Sometimes I also hate them, but deep down I really love them!
Here's a word I've just fallen in love with today:  "throughout".

"Throughout" is a word I use all the time, but today I've just realized that it's made up of two words: "through" and "out".  I love this word -- it's so alive and full of movement!  Realizing this has given the word deeper meaning for me, and has led me to discover a new use for it -- a way to "embody" it.

If you're interested, I'd like to show you a very useful new way to use this word in relation to your emotions.

Experiment:

• Notice how you are feeling right now, emotionally.  Happy? Sad? Empty? Joyous?  Numb? Excited? Curious? Blah? Nothing much?
• Whatever you are feeling (even if it's nothing much), decide to stop holding onto whatever it is, and see if you can let it move a bit. Let this feeling (or non-feeling) spread through your whole body-mind self. If other feelings come up, let them move through you, too.  These are just ideas - no need to do anything extraneous with your body.
• Take a moment and inhibit the habitual idea that your body has a distinct edge to it (where your skin meets the air), and imagine that you're a bit more expansive than that.
• Now imagine that these feelings are spreading a bit farther and wider than your usual idea of self...going out just beyond the edges of your physical body.  
• Now stop containing them altogether, and let the feelings move out of the usual space of yourself, into the infinite space around you.

If you've tried this exercise, you've just let yourself feel your feelings throughout your whole self.

Why is this exercise useful?  

Oh, for so many reasons!  But, most importantly, it's an effective way to help yourself stay centered and whole, especially at times when strong emotions threaten to pull you off-balance.  When we don't let our feelings move, or only allow them to move within us without having the intention to also release them out of us, they will stay stuck in us - and us in them.  Keeping emotions trapped inside of us affects our well-being in a myriad of ways, and makes life much more difficult.  This is a way of getting out of the habit of experiencing our feelings only partially and keeping them inside; a way to let ourselves feel our feelings deeply with our whole selves, and then to let go of them once we've felt them.  

It is a way to embody our feelings throughout the whole self.

Yes, I do love words! :)

I would love to hear your thoughts on this!

*Free image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Alexander Technique = Embodied Thinking put to Good Use

F.M. Alexander:  Australian genius born in 1869; discovered universal principles that guide how mind and body naturally work together as a unity to coordinate movement in a life-enhancing way; later developed a technique to teach himself and others about these principles and how to stop interfering with them for optimal health, well-being, and performance; moved to England to devote his life to this work

Technique:  a method or skill for accomplishing a desired end 

Embodied Thinking:  a way to connect the mind and body with consciousness, including the skills of kinesthesia and empathy

Good Use:  positive, constructive, serving a useful purpose, helping to improve, promoting further development or advancement of the individual


*Free image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Embodying Gratitude with the Alexander Technique

I'd like to share a personal observation with you today.

For many years, the practice of gratitude has been a regular part of my spiritual practice.  I have consciously incorporated this attitude into my life during periodic meditation times, by forming the general intention to be grateful throughout the day, and by looking for specific things to be grateful for.

Over the past few weeks, I've been experimenting with a different angle on gratitude:  I've been paying more attention to what the experience of gratitude actually feels like.  I'm finding the experiment to be very interesting. By shifting my focus a bit more onto my feelings, I'm discovering that my habitual way of practicing gratitude has been primarily (but not exclusively) to focus on my thought-intention, without paying too much attention to the feeling.

I'm discovering quite a few things:

• For me, gratitude has a distinct physical feel to it, and it takes on some kind of a shape.
• If gratitude has a shape, for me it's like a somewhat flattened U-shape, or a broad smile; and if it's three-dimensional (even better!), it's more like a wide cup.
• When I start to feel gratitude, I experience a shift in my head and body, as if the sides of my brain and body are lifting upwards while my middle rests downwards.
• I find this shape to be symbolic of receptivity, like a cup that needs to exist before it can be filled; and as soon as it exists it IS filled, and therefore I have something to be grateful for, deep inside of myself.
• Focusing on the intention/goal (in this case, gratitude) as a thought just isn't enough - because feeling my goal - feeling gratitude - being gratitude - is actually part of my goal.  If I am over-focused on the thought-intention, I can still feel the result (I've always been able to feel gratitude), but I'm missing so much of the goodness of the feeling if I'm not also really letting myself feel it - and enjoy it.  
• Even though mind-body unity isn't a new concept for me, somehow unity of thought-feeling is.
• Gratitude is not my default mode.  I can tell because when I stop thinking/feeling gratitude in this way, the 'up'-'cup' droops and flattens down again instantly.  
• I need to practice this thought-feeling of gratitude much more often!
• Thankfully, practicing gratitude is MUCH easier this way, and it makes me want to do more and more of this kind of practicing, because it feels great!

You might wonder, what does all of this have to do with the Alexander Technique?

Constructive, conscious control is what happens when we formulate a clear intention with our thinking, and let go of whatever we're doing that interferes with realizing that intention.  There are so many possible interferences - "doings" that we must stop - and one of these seems to be over-focusing on the thought while under-focusing on the feeling.  (Of course, the opposite is just as much a pitfall.)  Balance and unity are everything!

Try it out:

• Think of what gratitude means to you, and start to wonder what gratitude might feel like.
• Pay attention to your head and the rest of your body, either one at a time or both together.
• Allow yourself to feel any changes as you get in touch with a true sense of gratitude.
• Now let go of this feeling of gratitude, and go back to your "normal" state of being.
• Try it a few times, and maybe increase the intensity and/or duration of the gratitude state.
• As you switch back and forth between gratitude and non-gratitude, do you notice any shifts in your head? body? mood?

I would love to hear about your experiences with this, or any other thoughts or feelings about 

gratitude that you might have!